Don't stop thinking you can still do it!

I just read this post on the blog Yes & Yes: http://www.yesandyes.org/2012/06/32-new-things-run-5k.html and it comes in the wake of some friends running the Warrior Dash. I have always felt that long runs were beyond me and scary but wish I was the kind of person to take on that challenge. I also saw in that same post a list of the new things the writer wanted to accomplish this year before her birthday. Some she accomplishes and others make it on to the list for the following year. She doesn't stop dreaming and gives herself goals. I read somewhere in a business article that people who write down their goals for the future are significantly more likely to accomplish those goals for having gone through the process of clearly setting them. The combination of all these thoughts has reignited it for me - I need to make and write goals. I need my own list of dreams to sieze. I do believe that until we die we can always start something new and continue to find fulfillment. I just about the crosscountry trekker who began at 85 and is now spending his 90s backpacking across Europe! I CAN do that run and have already talked with friends about forming a team (We will be doing the conveniently located Hero Rescue next spring) I have time between now and then to start running but I have already talked about it with others - peer pressure can be a great motivator. But I can also do what the Yes and Yes author did and give myself a list of dreams to see if I can do within the next year. Some I will, some I won't, but I'll have a goal to work towards. When life gets too steady or boring or doldrums or just lacking some sparkle, I am sprinkling it with new and exciting. Time to start brainstorming...

Do It Now

We've all been there. I've seen it a million times and I am usually really good about it - it's why I get as much dones as I do. But it could be BETTER. Yes, even I need to suck it up and do it now! I'm not typically a procrastinator and that makes my life easier, but sometimes dread overwhelms and makes something - whatever odious task it is - way harder than it needs to be. I did a few things that I dreaded to do right away during my break that is toddler's naptime. By getting those things done, it lifted a weight from my shoulders and allowed me to use what time I had left as I wanted rather than guiltily sneaking looks at the clock to guage whether there was still enough time to accomplish X and Y. So simple, but so hard sometimes. Even this blog. It is meant to be fun and refreshing but sometimes learning a new technological medium seems to outweigh the release of posting something. Here's to doing better. And sooner. So it won't become an insurmountable task!

B-More Grateful

As Thanksgiving is tomorrow I have been thinking about the meaning behind that a lot. It also happens that the time of year in which we are to sit back, enjoy family and ruminate on our blessings falls in the middle of what is for most people a very busy and stressful period. Not only are there so many activities back to back, there are all kinds of familial obligations and the added stress that spending a lot of money brings to people. The name of the holiday: Thanks-giving, giving thanks for things, becomes so rote for many and the celebration just one more thing to do, accomplish, plan for or get through. Just like resolutions made at New Years,' the thanks we give is often short-lived and easily brushed off. I myself am feeling more stressed and burdened of late and am seeking each day and week to look for ways to be more appreciative and truly grateful for things so easily taken for granted. By doing this more often and without reference to a holiday, I am trying to make appreciation and gratefulness more of a habit and general world outlook. One of my favorite blogs, http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/ has run a number of posts about "first world problems" which are amusing and a reality check.  It's easy to feel holiday cheer and think about being thankful for family and friends but we need to appreciate some of the harder things because they remind us of just how the disparities in the world really are. We have clean water to drink and bathe in, although I cringe at my credit card statement, it is made of things that are not necessary for me to live on, I have a house that safely closes and encloses those that provide safety versus those that provide terror behind closed doors. I have the ability drive my car in the difficult rain or snow and am not waiting at a bus stop in them.  I can put clean diapers on my baby and not reuse disposable diapers like some need to.  I can be stumped for a moment about what to be thankful for because my daily existence is not under fire and so I am able to become complacent about all that that safety has ensured. I am not a refugee.  I do not have to hunt for my food, or wait in line for it with hundreds of others when it is flown in from afar. I am thankful for recreation and books and that I have the ability to have an equal vote with people of others genders/races/ages for whatever schmuck seems the least offensive. I can do this without worrying if I will be shot for it. I can argue with my husband about what kinds of gifts to buy our children this season when I should simply be thinking what do gift the tots that do not have any.  I can be grateful for this life and so can we all because every day things happen to us and things happen because of us but we can always choose which makes a greater impact on what we think, see, feel and do. I wish for you all to feel that deep satisfying, humbling appreciation for this ... day of possibility.

Marketing Ploys

I'm reading a really interesting book right now Brandwashed : tricks companies use to manipulate our minds and persuade us to buy by Martin Lindstom. See here on Amazon for more description: http://amzn.com/0385531737  I really enjoy reading material that makes me think about living deliberately. I find the materialism in our culture to have grown so much in recent years - especially things marketed to new parents which prey on the generation's need to provide the very best for their children. (I think Gen Xers are particularly susceptible to this as our childhood was characterized by the "latch-key" phenomenon from the exploding divorce rates) The book is written from a man who is a hired consultant from the marketing industry. He helps companies/firms/brands (even Royal Families and celebrities but that's a whole 'nother ballgame) revamp their image and do metal imaging to find out how best to market their products. It's  crazy psychology and really gets into human nature and why we buy. As I read, I notice that I fall victim to some of the ploys and others I am not so drawn into - most likely because I have been so aware of it. Still, reading it makes me stop and talk to Mac about how we are raising our children, what messages are we sending them in how we choose things. Whether it is choosing what food/products/clothes we buy or what we explain about messages in books and movies.  And why is Dora or Hannah Montana on every article it can possibly be imprinted on. I love how the descriptions of Whole Foods discuss the highly planned signage that is prefabricated to look like a roadside farmer grabbed an old slate and some chalk for that country vibe. Not everyone is into reading Non-fiction the way I enjoy it, but it is important to be aware of WHY we are choosing things and do so deliberately.

Yet another beginning

Started this blog months ago with the idea of using it to vent but realized that I want a broader impact and audience. Ergo, most old posts deleted and this has been renamed, redesigned and more thought put into it. It will be a work in progress. The reason I kept the previous post is that we can all use a little "appreciation" all the time. Now to snuggle the Shmookie now that I have spent an hour fine tuning the details of design. The meat of the matter will be forthcoming.

Appreciation

By far, too often, I do not appreciate my children and the "simpleness" of this period enough. But it has been good recently and I need to write down the wonderful things that get away from me when things get stressful (and bratty and whiny and lack of sleep-y etc) Shmook is watching a movie and came in to tell me that though she is brave, little kids need adults to be with them when they are scared and a scary scene in the movie was coming up (the pollution monster song in Ferngully) I was happy to go out and snuggle her and clip nails and talk about the fairies and what it means to be "raining light." The other day, she also listed all of the marine animals in a big poster we have hanging on the wall. I am continually impressed by her ability to absorb all the information we pour over her - especially that about animals and the natural world. She retains and understands so much and is so sympathetic to creatures. She has been saying over and over "I love you bigger than the sky" and we compete with "bigger than the universe" and she asks if the universe is bigger than the sky. The whole thought touches my heart. We got her her first Barbie last night after I realized that my hard-core limits on the amount of toys in the house (to trip over and clean up all the time) meant that she had very few age-appropriate and only-for-her toys at all. I want to find that balance between not being too materialistic and swimming in gobs of stuff and making sure that she has a fun childhood with treats and things to build imaginary play with.

Squishy has been sleeping so much better with regular naps and bedtimes. This is a success of monumental proportions. You cannot fathom how necessary regular sleep is until many months of horrendous sleep pass and leave a zombie mother in their wake. He also just stopped breast-feeding which is also a transition that has gone so well. Not only have we crossed that hurdle, but is occurred naturally, gradually and without much fanfare. We have had some precious moments around bedtime through stories, snuggles and songs and I feel much more of a connection that the end of nursing-biting nipple resentment that was happening. I have been such a strong believer in breast feeding and doing so for at least a year and having a really "organic" experience of weaning off. This happened with both children and I feel like I really had the ideal experience of this for a mother. Both for me and my children - in bonding, in health, in cost and ease for life. It all just felt right and without problem and at one with each other.
Whenever I start feeling like a bad mother for feeling bored to tears or irritated or all the crazy feelings that occur when your life revolves around feeding, naptimes and diapers, I (and I'm sure many other mothers) need to stop and take stock of all we are doing right and good. All the ways we do our utmost for our families and children. And ourselves. I have continued working, even if inthe smallest capacity - for my sanity, for my resume and no gaps, for some connection to the non-childrearing world. I have nursed and made good home-cooked meals. I have snuggled and read stories and explained so many things around us. I have set boundaries - to discipline and teach and protect my children and also to set boundaries for myself to have fun times and breaks and child-babble-free listening (in the car.) I try to foster my marriage and my husband and his dreams and my friendships. Women try to do it all and I recognize my faults here: I am far too judgemental of others and their choices, I am impatient and quick to anger, I am selfish and far too neurotic (about cleanliness, order, schedules and my time being wasted by others) but at the same time I do things well: I am generous with hugs, I admit to being wrong and apologize to others, I try to help when I am in position to do so, I look for bridges between people and try to come to understanding (even if this comes after heated debate) I try to see others' point of view, I say "I love you" more than I say angry things, I thank others and show appreciation. I look for the good more that I look for the bad. I have hope and I feel blessed and loved. I love my children. I love my friends. I love my family and I love my husband and myself. I am thankful for my family and friends, for my house and our jobs, for opportunities and for learning. Because I am, just like everyone, learning all the time.